Improve and Finish my Research Paper.. I’m Stuck!

My Research paper’s thesis is a rebuttal to Albertina Townsend’s research paper. I am just adding ONE additional factor to her factor’s of what contributes to the academic success in African American men. Townsend states that supportive relationships such as peer, faculty, and familial support. As well as self-motivation, fear of failure, and a desire for financial security as key aspects for academic success in African American men…. from her study.

MY THESIS: Although Townsend provided the top correlative factors amongst her study group, we found that Nigerian men, or First generation African American men of close proximity to their African heritage, particularly Nigerian, are the most accounted for in the reason black men have a higher statistic in receiving their bachelors degree than in recent decades (Casimir, 2018). For David Olowokere, having a masters degree wasnt enough for his people back home. So, he got a doctorate (Casimir, 2018). This paper will showcase the importance of cultural expectation and religious factors that are also key factors in academic success. 

*** FEEDBACK FROM MY PROFESSOR IS THAT MY RESEARCH PAPER NEEDS A STRONGER THESIS AND IS A GREADE “C” AT BEST.

I NEED HELP TO IMPROVE THE CONTEXT  OF MY PAPER AS WELL AS TO FINISH IT.

HERE ARE THE LINKS THAT I CITED FROM ,

https://repository.lib.ncsu.edu/bitstream/handle/1840.20/37309/etd.pdf?sequence=1&isAllowed=y

https://uncpress.org/book/9780807842218/the-education-of-blacks-in-the-south-1860-1935/

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/003172170708800716

https://d32ogoqmya1dw8.cloudfront.net/files/cismi/broadaccess/black_student_education_rates_.pdf

https://www.questia.com/magazine/1G1-168737943/sobering-statistics

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.4219/gct-2007-32

https://www.chron.com/news/article/Data-show-Nigerians-the-most-educated-in-the-U-S-1600808.php

https://www.ymcanorth.org/news/2019/09/27/1407176/ymca_helps_students_realize_their_potential_through_new_after_school_programs

ATTACHED IS MY PAPER MERGED INTO ITS OULINE AND INSTRUCTIONS , ALSO PLEEEEASE INCLUDE A WORK CITED PAGE.