I have attached a copy of my rough draft essay and the original prompt ( I chose the “Choose a “monster” from our culture and research the history of said monster. Make an argument about why this particular monster is still relevant in our society today. What does it represent? What is the role of a monster in our society today? What is behind the continued fascination despite us knowing that they are not “real”? prompt). She also provided us with a checklist of everything we need in the essay that I will attach as well. I will copy the notes my teacher gave me. They are as follows:
“You are missing a strong thesis for this essay. Remember that the thesis is the topic plus your opinion or point. While your point is implied in your introductory paragraph, there needs to be a concise sentence that tells your audience what your essay is going to cover. Do not use a comma in your in text citations. (Shelley 38). You bring up a good point about why Frankenstein’s monster seeks revenge on the doctor and the community, but you leave that point unexplained. Why is this relevant? What does this tell us about the role of the monster in society? Who is the “real” monster: Frankenstein or his monster? Did you read the entire novel of Frankenstein? Honestly, there are some major gaps in your essay that do not ring true to what happens in the book. I would encourage you to read your essay out loud to yourself. I believe that many of the sentence structure errors could be caught by simply hearing them rather than reading them. I would encourage you to go back and revise your paper. You have included a lot of really good information, but your paper is missing an exact point. Instead, it seems to wander back and forth. I would encourage you to construct a strong thesis and make sure your essay matches it. Please make sure your works cited entries have a hanging indentation and have the publishers/journals in italics.”
Please fix everything she asks for. This is a major grade for me and I need a really good grade for this one.